RECAP - WEEK FOURTEEN

This Week: 7-9 (98-104-5)
Linebusters: 0-5 (35-34-1)
Straight Picks (w/o line): 9-7 (126-78-1)

What the hell happened? Well, I'll tell you what happened. We're back to teams refusing to show up for whole games at a time, which then requires me to predict the team that has its head up its behind rather than just picking the better team.

We saw this coming.
Oakland Raiders @ San Diego Chargers
Line: Chargers -9.5
O/U: 42.5
My Pick: Chargers -9.5. I think Oakland has given up. Chargers win 31-13.
Result: Chargers 34-7
The Chargers were bound to play a good game sooner or later that would make everyone think that maybe, just maybe, the Chargers were still a winning team. They're not.

Blowout
Cincinnati Bengals @ Indianapolis Colts
Line: Colts -13.5
O/U: 42
My Pick: Colts -13.5. Indy wins 33-13.
Result: Colts 35-3
Even worse than I expected. Nice job, Indy. Way to make Cincy look stupid.

Yep, they're that bad
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Chicago Bears
Line: Bears -6.5
O/U: 40
My Pick: Bears -6.5. Chicago wins big at home 34-17.
Result: Bears 23-10
Chicago controlled this game pretty easily. If Minnesota loses the Williams boys, the Bears could still win the division!

We Want Brett
Houston Texans @ Green Bay Packers
Line: Packers -5.5
O/U: 47
My Pick: Packers -5.5. Green Bay wins at Lambeau 27-21.
Result: Texans 24-21
If you close your eyes and listen closely, you can hear them chanting all the way from Green Bay. We want Brett. We want Brett. The Packers have lost two winnable games in a row at Lambeau, and will not be in the postseason. That's unacceptable if you play in Green Bay.

Still Rollin
Cleveland Browns @ Tennessee Titans
Line: Titans -14
O/U: 37.5
My Pick: Titans -14. How can I not go with it? Tennessee Wins 30-10.
Result: Titans 28-9
Pretty darn close on that final. You had to expect it though. Dorsey can't do much, and the Titans have a heck of a running game.

Pathetic
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions
Line: Vikings -9.5
O/U: n/a
Linebuster!
My Pick: Vikings -9.5. Minny runs away with it 30-13.
Result: Vikings 20-16
The Lions will likely be 0-16 when the season concludes (hooray! I've been dying to see that happen...), and the Vikings almost became the only non-blemish on their perfectly imperfect record. Stupid Vikings. What will you do when the Williams' get suspended? Lose, that's what.

Quality Win #2
Washington Redskins @ Baltimore Ravens
Line: Ravens -5
O/U: 35.5
Linebuster!
My Pick: Skins +5. Washington wins outright 17-13.
Result: Ravens 24-10
Ok, so now they've beaten the Skins and Eagles. Ed Reed is awesome. We knew that. Will they hold up in the postseason, though? I doubt it. Flacco is just too young to lead a team without too many other options to the promised land.

I'm a moron
Philadelphia Eagles @ New York Giants
Line: Giants -7
O/U: 43
My Pick: Giants -7. The Giants come away with the W 34-21.
Result: Eagles 20-14
I should only go against my gut when it comes to the Broncos...here I went against it because I just thought the Giants were too good. Also of note, Westbrook was questionable when I picked the game. But no excuses. I should have picked the Eagles, because I just had a feeling this could happen.

Good, why not just ruin everyone's season?
Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints
Line: Saints -3
O/U: 51
My Pick: Saints -3. New Orleans gets the passing attack working and wins 36-28.
Result: Saints 29-25
The Saints can't catch the Panthers or Bucs, realistically, but by dropping the Falcons down a notch, they effectively hurt the conference. Instead of potentially getting both wild card slots, the South could get only one, as the Falcons will now have a very hard time getting in front of all of those NFC East teams.

Again, go with the gut...
New York Jets @ San Francisco 49ers
Line: Jets -4
O/U: 44.5
My Pick: Jets -4. New York wins 28-23.
Result: 49ers 24-14
I knew it. The Jets can't travel that far and play well. Damn. I only picked them because I feel like a jerk every time I talk about how bad I still think they are despite being on top of that division. Well Jets fans, you can't really disagree with it now. They're just not consistent enough to be a contender. Unless they pull a Giant-like run in the postseason, they won't be a factor.

Toronto Sucks
Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills (in Toronto, Ont.)
Line: pk
O/U: 42
Linebuster!
My Pick: Bills pk. Buffalo damn well better win this game. 23-20.
Result: Dolphins 16-3
Seriously? 3 points again? Click this link to get my views on this one...

It Works!
Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos
Line: Broncos -9
O/U: 48.5
My Pick: Chiefs +9. The Denver Rule=Always go against your gut. Broncos still win 33-30.
Result: Broncos 24-17
The go-against-your-gut-when-it's-the-Broncos rule continues to work! Excellent...

The Best of the Worst
St. Louis Rams @ Arizona Cardinals
Line: Cards -14
O/U: 48.5
My Pick: Cards -14. Arizona wins 34-10.
Result: Cards 34-10
WOO-HOO! I got an exact score, finally. Congrats, Arizona. You're the best team in the NFC West, which means you have the upper hand against three of the worst teams in the league. At least the AFC West has Denver and San Diego. Of course, I shouldn't mock, as my Bills will now become the NFL team with the longest playoff drought. The 2000's have not been good for Western NY.

Good Riddance
Dallas Cowboys @ Pittsburgh Steelers
Line: Steelers -2.5
O/U: 40
My Pick: Cowboys +2.5. I hate to pick the Boys, but I have to go with my gut. Dallas 23-20.
Result: Steelers 20-13
Pittsburgh is a good team, but Cowboy fans have to be pissed. If this team doesn't make the playoffs, I don't expect the city of Dallas to survive.

Awful
New England Patriots @ Seattle Seahawks
Line: Pats -4.5
O/U: 43
Linebuster!
My Pick: Pats -4.5. New England cruises 30-10.
Result: Pats 24-21
Way to make me look stupid, New England. It was the Seahawks, for goodness sake.

Result Achieved...
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers
Line: Panthers -3
O/U: 38.5
Linebuster!
My Pick: Bucs +3. Tampa shows who should be #1 in the NFC South. 24-13.
Result: Panthers 38-23
Well, Tampa showed who should be #1 in the NFC South, alright. No defense at all will do that to a team. 3rd and 4 with just over two minutes left, Carolina ball in a one-score game. Obvious run. And Williams breaks it for a TD. Really Tampa? Yikes.